Do you believe that you do not deserve to be noticed in this world? Do you believe that you have nothing to offer to this world? Have you disliked yourself for most of your life? Have you answered “Yes” to any of these questions? It is an indication that you do not love yourself.
Religions and culture teach us to be selfless in our deeds. In the urge to take care of everyone around and meet everyone’s expectations, we work so hard that we forget to take care of ourselves. The funniest thing is that, if we do not take care of ourselves, nobody else is going to do that and we cannot even take care of others the best possible way!
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Are you waiting to love yourself the day when you achieve your dreams?
Probably, you might have people around you, who love you conditionally! Your hubby may not appreciate you now because you have not lost those excess pounds of weight. Your kids may not admire you now, as you may not be able to buy them the expensive gifts you once brought them. Your parents may blame you now, as you now spend most of your time with your wife. But, how can you love yourself conditionally? If you do so, who will love you? If you are not kind to yourself, who else will be.
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Let’s explore how you can love yourself and possibly be the biggest cheerleader of yourself?
1. Have a Self-Love Mantra
A mantra is a word or phrase that is often repeated or that expresses someone’s fundamental beliefs.
You can start to love yourself, by chanting a self-love mantra. Click To Tweet
Remember, we are all different, the words which are appealing to me, may not be meaningful to you at all.
Choose a Mantra that reminds you that you are significant; you deserve to be loved.
The same words have different emotional impacts at various people. So, select the phrase which is more meaningful and emotionally juicy for you.
Following are some of the mantras you can try:
“I love myself.”
“I am Good Enough.”
“I love you, your name.”
“I am worthy of love.”
“I am Capable!”
“I am Strong.”
“I have everything I need.”
Pick your self-love mantra. Tell yourself daily your self-love mantra for two minutes. Meditate with this thought. Let this be the only one thought running through your head. Feel the thought. Repeat it again and again. Whether you believe it or not doesn’t matter, just focus on this one thought. Make it your truth.
Obviously, if you don’t find any benefits out of your chosen self-love mantra, you can try another mantra. You will soon notice the mantra suiting you.
Hey, do not forget to check out our articles on self-confidence here.
2. Look in the Mirror and say the Mantra
Look at yourself in the mirror, say your self-love mantra to your reflection. Do you find this a pointless action? I would recommend you still try it.
Do you find it difficult to look in your eyes?
Many of us, look in the mirror to see our flaws. So it might be hard for you to look in the mirror and tell your love mantra. You might find it silly.
Your mind might mock you “That’s a total lie. You do not love yourself” Do not listen! Keep doing.
How many times have you looked at others to tell you that you are beautiful, worthy and lovable?
Let’s not rely on other’s opinion to decide your worthiness. Click To Tweet
To make your mind to believe that you love yourself. You can say the reason why you love yourself.
I love myself because I dress well.
I love myself because I have a beautiful nose.
3. Hug Yourself
How do you express your love to others? Of course, there are many ways you show love. It may vary depending on the people and environment. Hugging is a way of showing love.
You hug others to appreciate them. You hug others to console them. Why don’t you express your love to yourself the same way?
Hugging yourself may seem senseless, but it does help you in the practice of self-love. Do you remember when your dear one hugged you for no reason and immediately you got a “feel-good” effect?
A hug can have healing effect even when you are hugging yourself. For a minute, when no one is around, wrap your arms around yourself and give yourself a hug. Tell your self-love mantra.
4. Forgive Yourself
Being satisfied with the person you are today can be tough. Society teaches you always to work to improve and to accumulate more material things.
You might be waiting to be happy once you accomplish certain things. Therefore, not having these things or not having achieved your goals can leave you feeling as though you are not good enough.
It is also difficult for you to love yourself if you have gone through most of your life disliking various aspects of yourself.
Irrespective of your looks or status, you are worthy of love from yourself as well as others. Click To Tweet
People around you might constantly remind you of your imperfections or past failures, but you will have to forgive yourself to start to love yourself.
Write down everything you dislike about yourself. Try to let go of the pain and negativity attached to each item you have written down.
Forgiving yourself is not an easy task, but with time and practice you can forgive and love yourself.
5. Write down your positives
Write down everything you love about yourself. Writing down your positives could be a challenging task for those of you, who have been in an environment lacking appreciation. Society directs you to downplay your qualities and be modest.
By listing down your positive qualities, you are embracing your positives that you have been disregarding so long.
Take some time to appreciate who you are and what you have accomplished in your life. Don’t worry about tomorrow and don’t think about yesterday.
Think about all your good qualities, why you love who and where you are today and write them down. Do not restrict yourself to physical features. Write down all your physical and inner qualities.
6. Be Good to Yourself
Think about the areas of your life where you have been ignoring yourself. Are you over exercising? Do you stay up too late? Are you not eating enough to remain slim and meet the social standards? Are you a self-critic? Do you indulge activities you hate to satisfy the people around you?
If you are not good to yourself, who else is going to be good to you?
Do something that is going to make you feel good about yourself that you normally don’t do. Get your nails done, buy a new outfit, or simply sleep for an extra hour. Whatever you choose to do, make it something that makes you feel good and something that you normally would not do.
Try to be kind to yourself whenever is possible. Click To Tweet
7. Put Yourself First
For many of us, especially women, putting themselves first ‘s hard to do. Women are conditioned to keep their needs last. Try to give priority to yourself. You could cook your favorite items for dinner. Instead of spending money on others, spend some money on yourself.
Indian women have a general tendency of eating last, the least and in most of the cases, the leftovers within the family.
In the book “Gender Disparity in India: Unheard Whimpers” the author Siluli Sarkar writes about one of the primary drivers of malnutrition among the Indian women are the gender-specific distribution of food resources.
You may check out the book at amazon.com
If you want to bring any change to the society, it must start from your homes. So, if you are a woman eating last just because you have been conditioned to do so, then serve yourself first from today.
Remembering that you are important too is a big part of loving yourself.
8. Take up a New Hobby
When we do things for ourselves that make us happy and are purely for pleasure, we feel a higher value of self-love because at the completion of our hobbies, there is a feeling of satisfaction and we are proud of what we have completed.
Take a moment and think about the things you would like to do in your spare time. Have you wished to learn a Jazz dance when you were a child? Do you like to learn painting? Do you find photography interesting? Everyone is different and likes different activities. Choose an activity that you enjoy the most as a hobby. Remember to do this just for joy.
9. Take care of Your Appearance
We all know that when we look better, we feel better. Still, many of us, ignore our looks in our busy schedules. When we put extra effort into our appearance, we feel good about ourselves and our looks. It boosts our confidence when facing the outside world and gives us a feeling of worthiness.
When you start to love yourself, you will no longer care about other’s opinions about you. Your self-esteem will rise significantly. How do you love yourself? Do you practice any of these ways of self-love? Please, share your thoughts as comments.
Habits define us. Check out our articles on habit building here.