feel good enough

Why do you feel Not Enough and How to make you feel Good Enough?


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Everyone at my home is a good singer. I was enthusiastic to sing when I was a child. I loved listening to music.  My mom had told me sarcastically, not to sing at home as it was too bad. Many of my friends said I have a good voice and if I learn I can sing! Now, as an adult, I do not even listen to music. Listening to music could have been one of my pastimes.  “I AM NOT GOOD ENOUGH “in music thought got imprinted in my mind. Hence, I lost interest in “listening to music,” one of the best-known ways to relax.

Have you wondered “Why Can’t we all sing?” Well, the Medical Daily says we all can sing with practice.

 

You may read about musical intelligence and how we can develop it here. How to create brain we want?


Have you come across circumstances made you believe that “You are not good enough”? 

Why do you feel not enough?


Kids feel they are enough until parents start comparing them with other children.  Parents want well-behaved and obedient children. So they complain and judge kids in trying to mold them to their way of thinking. Parents use criticism to make children aware of their faults and help them grow into good adults.  These kids get conditioned to allow others to decide if they are good enough. They start to believe that they are “not good enough” and they need to become better and be like somebody else. This belief makes their lives a perpetual struggle for becoming more and better to prove others that they are good enough. 

Today’s competitive world, everyone makes you feel “You are not good enough.”

If you are a wife, your husband makes you feel “not good enough” by his sneak peek at other girls.  If you are a husband, your wife’s comparison of you with your friend makes you feel “not good enough.” In your workplace, your manager makes you feel “not good enough” by telling you somebody else performed better than you. 


Even Businesses run to make people feel “not good enough.” If you do not have a curvy body like the models in the advertisements, you feel “not good enough.” The ads make you believe that if you do not own their products: cars, jewelry, mobiles, etc., you lack something. Most of us end up buying them to feel “good enough.” Nowadays we come across many tech-savvy folks who proudly own all the latest models of electronic gadgets.


One of the reasons for divorces is said to be this feeling of “not good enough.” One partner relies on the other for his or her feeling of being good enough. When he or she stops getting this approval from the other, he or she starts looking for a new partner to get this feeling of “good enough.” 


Sometimes, it seems that everyone in the world is shouting at us “You Are Not Good Enough.” Everywhere we turn, we seem to hear the words, catch the looks on others’ faces, find ourselves left out and conclude that others are telling us “You Are Not Good Enough.” We are desperately seeking feedbacks from others.  Many of us have spent our lives trying to prove to others, we are good enough in some way or somehow.

How to make you feel good enough?

Stop looking for approvals from others.  Whatever may be our current state, we must feel good enough about ourselves. We may be too fat, financially broken, and unhealthy now. But we have to feel good enough now. If we are not feeling good enough now, we are not going to feel good enough by achieving any of our desired states. 


It is essentially human nature to want to be more. It is the reason behind all inventions and revolutions. But if those wanting to be more is not coming from a place of self-worth,   life becomes miserable. Nobody in this world is going to treat us the way we want. They will treat us the way they want. Let’s not depend on others for our self-worth.


Some of you might be feeling enough, happy, successful. But somebody around you, your wife, son or friend, may not be feeling the same. Help them feel “Good enough.”


Following is a method suggested by many Mind Therapists.


Mind Therapists say Mind believes what is familiar with it. Make it feel “I AM GOOD ENOUGH.”

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  •  Put sticky notes saying “I AM GOOD ENOUGH” on your mirror or wherever you can read it daily.
  • Tell loudly to yourself, “I AM GOOD ENOUGH.”
  • Make this a habit until you feel good enough. You can read about an awesome way to change a habit.
  • You might still get thoughts that make you feel “You are not good enough.” Whenever such idea comes in, just acknowledge it as a disempowering thought and say to yourself “I AM GOOD ENOUGH.”  

We have to realize that the only opinion that counts is our own. Everything else is just feedback.
I have put an “I AM GOOD ENOUGH” sticky note on my mirror. What about you? 

Let our journey, to achieve more in this world, be from the knowing that “I AM GOOD ENOUGH.”


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nisha
Nisha is a Software professional and an NLP Practitioner who is passionate about personal development techniques.

23 thoughts on “Why do you feel Not Enough and How to make you feel Good Enough?

  1. Yup, I used to have this need to have everyone like me. But not anymore. If someone doesn’t like me, oh well. I am who I am and I won’t change. I don’t need anyone’s approval.

  2. It’s taken me years of therapy to realize I am good enough because I have a parent who likes to drill in the fact that we clearly are not by her standards. I will say my father does go above and beyond to make me feel good enough. When I was a kid I sang quietly and he made me sing loudly saying he knew his kids could sing and I later went on to win vocalist of the year my junior year in my high school.

  3. I love this post so much! We often all compares ourselves to others and seek approval outside of ourselves, when really we just need approval from within ourselves and starting with “I am good enough” is a great place to start!

  4. When I was a kid, I had once that feel of not enough. Then I quickly realized that I can do many things that they can’t so I stopped my pity feeling. It will not give me anything good. So I strengthen those skills and talents that I have and I nailed it!

    We should teach kids to be always positive no matter what.

  5. I used to be one who easily got affected by the references to my oh so good cousins but then after a while my parents focused on praising us more than comparing and we grew up with that.

  6. There are some times when I do feel inadequate and the thing is, that’s when everyone is telling me I’m doing good. I feel like it all depends on our environment and who we surround ourselves with can help on down days.

  7. Very encouraging post, thank you!
    Totally agree when you say that we must feel good enough about ourselves. We should stop comparing ourselves to others and start believing that we are good enough!

    Jessica

  8. What an important message! I have a similar sticky note on my bathroom mirror that says “Just Be You”. It reminds me to take pride in myself and makes me feel “good enough”.

  9. I’m a new parent and this is something I want to make sure my kids never have to go through. I’ll make sure I’m not the parent who compares them to other kids.

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