“I used to have a friend in college. She was beautiful, intelligent, creative, rich yet humble. She was the favorite of all teachers. All the girls wanted to be like her; all the boys wanted to be with her.” Have you ever wished you could be cool, calm and composed like your classmate or colleague? Have you ever wondered what makes some people ooze with self-confidence and control? Why would some of the highly talented people lack self-confidence?
Self-confidence is our faith in ourselves and our abilities.
It is the belief that we can do whatever we set our mind to do.
Why is self-confidence so essential for a happy and fruitful life?
Self-confidence allows us to take risks without the fear of what others may think. Confident people meet their goals efficiently. They stand up for themselves at times of adversity.
Now, let’s explore why you lack self-confidence.
1. Lack of Encouragement
Have you noticed how a baby looks at his mother for appreciation while doing each new thing? We typically encourage them when they say the first word or lay their first step.
But we often forget to encourage our children when they grow older. This shortage of encouragement can happen for many reasons. It could be because parents are too busy to realize how important the achievement in child’s life is.
Imagine a boy got the second prize in a running competition. He is an average student, and he is getting a title for the first time. This award may not be a significant achievement for parents. Getting a good grade in the class may be far more important for parents. If nobody is at home to rejoice his achievement, he may not take part in sports events with the same enthusiasm. Kids grown up in an environment missing encouragement can lack self-confidence.
2. Constant Comparison
Everyone is uniquely talented. Sometimes parents fail to find the real talents of their kids. They keep unrealistic expectations from children. They tend to compare the children with others constantly.
Failing to meet parental and peer standards result in low self-confidence. Kids start to make similar unfavorable comparisons with themselves. They start to believe that they need to be like somebody else, to get the approval from parents.
You may like to read Why do you feel Not Enough and How to make you feel Good Enough?
3. Over Criticism
Some parents and teachers use criticism to improve children and train them for the time to come. Even though this criticism is well-intended, this may lead to insecurity in them.
Kids may withdraw themselves from trying, due to fear of failure and criticism. They may lack exposure and feel isolated or left out later in their life. They usually become harsh self-critiques and fail to appreciate themselves.
4. Over Protection
Youngsters raised in an overprotective environment, tend to be too dependent on others. They believe that they are not capable of doing things independently. In the circumstances demanding free actions – decision-making, financial planning – they may struggle and lack confidence.
Maturing in an abusive atmosphere disturbs the self-worthiness. Such a person may become submissive and fail to stand for himself. Being in an abusive relationship or going through any traumatic experiences also impacts self-respect.
6. Lack of Skills
Some people are anxious to do certain tasks, while they are super confident to do other tasks. Fear of public talking is such a common anxiety among people. If children do not get the opportunity to develop these skills at a younger age, they may remain nervous about these tasks.
7. Poor Self-image
A person having a poor self-image believes that he looks worse than he is. This lack of self-esteem could be because of incorrect perception developed from past ridiculing experiences. Such a person believes that he possesses a certain defect on his looks, remains anxious about it and avoids social situations.
Self-confidence is a state of mind developed based on our society and the closest social environment. If you lack self-confidence, it is mainly because of the negative beliefs imposed on you. We can discuss further ways to boost confidence in the coming days.