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Sonia is an L.K.G Student. She is crying, and her mother is comforting her! Sonia is just back from her first ever dancing performance on her school’s annual day. On stage, she could not perform well because of stage fright. She even forgot to dance after some time. All her friends did well. Her mother said to Sonia “if you are scared to be on stage, no need to dance in the future!” Sonia is okay with mother’s assurance! But is it going to help her in future? How can Sonia build self-confidence and get rid of stage fright?
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Before looking into ways to build self-confidence, let’s understand self-confidence better.Self-confidence depends on how you feel about yourself and how you like yourself. Click To Tweet
In olden ages, human beings lived as tribes. In those days, survival was impossible without approvals from others. But in today’s world, we can live without other’s approvals! We can even live disconnected from the people around us. But still one of the major fears is the fear of rejection!
Read our article on ways to deal with rejection.
We constantly look for approvals and appreciations from others. We think that our sense of self-worth and self-image depends on other’s approvals. People – grew up in an environment lacking knowledge about the power of appreciation- tend to lack self-confidence as they may not have got proper applause for their accomplishments.
Read about why you lack self-confidence here.
Here are 23 ways to help you build self-confidence:
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1.Tell Yourself daily three positive things about yourself
Have a positive attitude. Tell yourself every morning, at least three things that you like about yourself. Why do you like yourself? The mind needs reasons to believe it.
It need not be any great qualities. It could be as simple as you cook tasty pasta or your beautiful eyes or nose.
Some examples are:
I like myself because I am a good human being.
I like myself because I can walk, talk, hear!
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2.Take care of your Looks
Sometimes we give importance to everyone else and forget to take care of ourselves. Our day-to-day work and tight deadlines occupy us so much that we forget to pay attention to our looks.
I used to be too obsessed with my job; I went to the office once wearing two different types of foot wears on each foot!
Do you go to office carelessly?
Feeling, looking and smelling clean will instantly make you feel good and more confident. Ensure you dress appropriately for every occasion you attend. It matters that you are comfortable with what you are wearing when it comes to building self-confidence.
3. Be in a power posture for two minutes daily
Remember, nothing could make you look and feel more confident than having a good posture. Studies suggest that being in a power pose for at least two minutes helps to build self-confidence.
Watch this TED Talk by Amy Cuddy. She is explaining about the influence of our body language on us. How we can use power poses to boost self-confidence.
4. Stay Fit
Do you think that having six packs like the model you see every day in the advertisements will make you more confident? Not true! Are you short or fat? That doesn’t matter! You just learn to love your body!
When you love your body, you will start taking good care of it. Apparently, then you will find time to exercise, jog, walk or eat healthier!
5. Get Enough Sleep
Ensure you get at least 6-8 hours’ sleep every day.A good night’s sleep helps you feel better and gives your body enough rest. Never compromise on your sleep!
6. Smile more
Smiling arouses happy hormones which make you feel and look pleasant! Your glowing smile not only help you feel better, but it elevates the joy of others around you.
7. Invest in Hobbies
What does make you happy? What did you enjoy as a child? Do you like to sing or dance or play football?
Make a list of all the things you enjoy.
Pick one of them and include that as part of your day to day activities to build self-confidence. Doing things that you love can be a great way to build self-confidence.
If you like to play piano and your piano is old, do not be reluctant to buy a new one.
If you do not have any hobbies, you can learn a new hobby.
Do you know, irrespective of your age, you can acquire any skill you want and train your brain?
Read our article on how to create brain you want.
Never be hesitant to invest in things that you love to do, and you will enjoy doing those things even more.
8. Write down your Fears
Your fears can turn out to be a heavy baggage for you, forcing you to be away from all amazing life experiences.
Write down your concerns and identify the steps you can take to overcome them. If required, get educated to face your fears.
9. Recognize your beliefs, values
Do you believe a particular color is lucky for you? Use that color whenever you feel like using it! Do not listen to people who say that is irrational!
Do you feel happy when you go to church or temple or mosque daily? Find out time to visit your religious place of worship daily.
Is your superior forcing you to take some shortcuts to finish your project? Stand up for yourself and protect your values.
You can build self-confidence only when you are living within your moral values and beliefs. Click To Tweet
Our beliefs did not develop overnight. It might have taken years! Even if how irrational your beliefs are, stick to it as far as it is not harming you or the world, until you are ready to get rid of it.
10. Speak Positive
Note down the negative words you often say to yourself. Replace it with more positive ones.
If you often say “I am nervous,” replace it with “I am excited!”
Do you have a tedious job to complete? Instead of saying “That’s going to be a Nightmare!” Say “That’s going to be a Challenge!”
People with low self-esteem often have the worst critic within themselves. Don’t listen to your inner critic.
To build self-confidence, say ruthlessly “Shut Up!” to your inner critic whenever you hear that voice.
11. Have Specific Goals
Have short-term and long- term goals. Dreams can be empowering. They are necessary to build self-confidence and keep you motivated during challenges.
Do you desire to go to Himalaya or Mecca? Do you wish to buy a new Sedan?
Is sponsoring one hundred kids your dream? Write them down.
Achieving your goals can make you feel good about yourself.
12. Avoid Negative People
There will always be negative people who always see the worst in everything.
Do you have a friend who always comments about your negatives? Do you have friends who always remind you of your bad experiences?
Cut them off from your life! Do you think that is impossible? Then, at least reduce your exposure to such folks who bring you down.
Surround yourself with good people.Having encouraging and supportive people around you is helpful for you to build self-confidence.
13. Stop blaming others
Learn to be responsible for your mistakes. Do not blame other people for you not accomplishing certain things. Take accountability for your happiness.
14. Do not criticize others
Do you know that the people who often criticize others are the ones having the most criticism reserved for themselves? Stop criticizing others and focus on positives to build self-confidence.
It does not mean you stop sharing your feedbacks with others and help them grow. Do not do that to point out their mistakes, but to show them ways to improve.
15. Don’t take criticism negatively
Criticisms will help you improve yourself.
Never take criticism personally. Always remember, each criticism is just an opinion of somebody. Opinions are not facts! Do not let someone’s negative opinion affect you if there’s no truth in what they are saying about you. Analyze the criticism and accept it if it is valuable else simply ignore it.
Would you like to know more about dealing with criticism? Read how to handle constructive criticism.
16. Don’t be too hard on yourself
You were not made perfect. You will make mistakes. Unexpected events will shatter your regular life. You will fail! You will end up hurting other people along the way just like how other people could hurt you too. That’s just how life is!
Read about how to deal with unexpected events?
Learn to embrace your insecurities to build self-confidence. Click To Tweet
17. Drop Unrealistic Expectations
I can’t remember a single day in my entire life where I completed all my planned activities! Though, I consider myself as pretty good at getting things done! Needless to say, I always felt overwhelmed by my to-do list! Now, I know my expectations are not realistic!
Having too many commitments that you can’t fulfill at the end of the day can be demotivating.
Remove unessential activities from your to-do list.
Do not over-commit yourself. Learn to say ‘No’ at the right time.
Do not constantly bombard yourself with stress from work, and commitments.
Give some room for you to relax! Take time to just lie on a couch watching your favorite comedy show. You deserve it!
18. Practice till you become Confident
Do you get stressed about your mathematical exams? Practice more! Are you not confident about your dance?Practice until you are satisfied with your performance.
After all, practice makes you perfect.
Practice is a definite way to build self-confidence.
19. Prepare well for Bad days
Sometimes you may be feeling down in the dumps. Some days you might not have performed as good as you expected! Perhaps you were lazy.
That’s normal. Try to take something good out of the bad experiences. Learn from your mistakes.
Believe in your ability to manage bad experiences. Do not expect that journey towards your goal is smooth! You will face hurdles.
Many studies suggest that people who believed challenges are part of the journey in meeting their objectives were able to cope up well with the challenges.
Accept that challenges are part of everybody’s life.
This preparation helps you to build self-confidence and face difficulties better.
20. Praise Yourself
Are you looking around for applause? You did an extraordinary job at work and your superior did not appreciate you. Don’t worry!
People praise you according to their agenda! Do n’t wait for outside praise! You start praising yourself!
Write down the list of compliments you wished to hear from your dear ones. Praise yourself from time to time to build self-confidence.
When you complete a task within time, appreciate yourself!
Give yourself a reward for your achievements. Cherish each little success!
You are responsible for your feelings! Never rely on outside praise for your happiness. Click To Tweet
In case, somebody gives you a compliment, take it at face value. Don’t criticize yourself as if the compliment isn’t right!
People with less self- esteem, usually doubt the compliments!
21. Learn to apologize
Whenever you make a mistake, be gracious enough to accept it. Genuinely say you’re sorry for the wrong thing you have done.
Asking for forgiveness may not immediately fix things. But it helps to build self-confidence by eradicating the feelings of guilt and shame.
22. Have a Success Journal
Have a journal of your accomplishments.
Did your colleague appreciate you over a casual chat? Note it down in your success journal.
Have you completed a challenging task within time? Your superiors & colleagues did not appreciate you. Do not worry! Write down your accomplishment in the journal.
Reading this journal helps you build self-confidence to face similar challenges efficiently.
23. Stop taking Life so seriously
We are all just mortal beings! In your constant struggle to conquer new victories, please, do not forget that the only sure thing in our lives is death!
Don’t take life seriously! Have a balance! Lighten up a little and learn to let go of control!
Read our article on let go of control.
Coming back to Sonia.
Unfortunately, Sonia does not look to be amidst people who are supporting her to build self-confidence. Instead of over-protecting Sonia from failures, her mother should provide support for her in facing the stage. Sonia can build self-confidence only by practicing and performing more dance programs.
In essence, to build self-confidence believe in yourself, your abilities. Keep learning to improve yourself. Same time, be ready to face challenges in your life.
Read our article on improving yourself kaizen way.
What do you do to build self-confidence? Did you find these tips helpful? Please do share your thoughts as comments.